I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
