I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize