my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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