your room smells of hookers.
And success
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize