and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize