8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
