so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
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I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
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I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
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