Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Randomize
