She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
