i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Randomize
