Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
