yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
