i think i have two assholes
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize
