clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Randomize
