dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
