so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
