i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
