I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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