He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
