Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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