come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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