Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
