I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
you never un-have a 4some
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
