I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
This baby is an asshole
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
