Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
