I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
