i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
sick fucks of a feather flock together
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize