i think i have herpe
just one?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
