i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
