I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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