Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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