Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
