I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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