You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
