I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
