Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I am spending my child support on dildos
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
