and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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