my vag is so smooth its legendary
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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