He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
