I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
