Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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