come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
