Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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