Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
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