Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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