that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
