I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
