Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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