I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
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