No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
