OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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