I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
