Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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