he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
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Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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