Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
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